rant

SO here’s the thing.
This happened MONTHS ago, but Im finally done caring what you jackasses think about me.
Im just going to come out and talk about it.

So I dated this guy for 2 years, who was suicidal.
When he was suicidal, I was strong, I helped build him up, and Once we had broken up he’d gained complete confidence and happiness and all that shit.

So I was there for him in his darkest hour…and then two years later when I wanted to fucking die he just got up and left.
Thanks for that, dude.

But anyway, after that happens he goes to his friends and tells them Im over-dramatic, Jealous, and whatever the fuck else he felt like saying.
And yeah, I was jealous. Im not a jealous person anymore but in the time that we were dating I WAS jealous.
Make no mistake, I was not a perfect girlfriend.

But then all of his friends that USED to be better friends with me, went to him.
They hardly ever talk to me now, and when they do it’s small talk.
So thanks for ditching me guys.
sorry i didn’t vent to you like He did, but had you known half the shit he put ME through, maybe you wouldn’t look at me like im such a fucking cunt.
Im sorry im not a pitty whore, and I don’t throw people under the bus just because they’ve wronged me.
Well, I didn’t USE to.
Fuck that.
Revenge is where it’s at, so im posting this.
I hope the whole damn world reads it. haha.

So anyway, lost most of my friends, lost the guy, almost lost myself.
End of story? No.

Because of this Im so much stronger.
Not only am I over this guy, but i’ve grown to fucking love myself.
Not in a “omg im so hot” way, but …Im so much deeper than most of these shallow asshole fuckers.

If saying that makes me a conceited bitch, then so be it.
If you think that makes me a conceited bitch, i probabaly wouldn’t want to associate with you anyway.

I just love knowing that I got through all of the shit…
And now I can look at all these people who claim to be happy, but I can see right throught them.
They just go on living theire daily little routines and call it a life.
Fuck that, i call it a death.
Just walking around in a human body….

But that’s a whole other story.

It’s nice to know, that after having someone (who you’d almost dated for a full two years) pretend they still love you for three months, just to say “JUST KIDDING!” and shove it in my face…I didn’t cower and go slit my wrists.
I got stronger.
And yeah, im not saying im anything fucking special, I know that most people get stronger after dealing with situations like mine. But there’s just something nice about knowing that I was the victim in this situation.
And even though everyone shunned me, I began to realize I don’t need them.

See, Im not afraid of the dark anymore…because I am the dark.

So thank you for bruising [not breaking] my heart.
Because It’s only made it easier for me to identify the fakes in this world.
I just can’t wait for the day I see you cry, like I did 699098098 times.

I know that everyone made fun of me after the breakup because I sat in the corner and confided my diary rather than my friends.
But in the end it paid off.
So thanks for fucking with me.

——-

job opening…

Looking for,

Someone who will sit criss-cross-apple-sauce across from me as we make our own secret handshake. Someone who thinks it’s cute when I accidentally drool on them while sleeping. Someone who will nap with me in the middle of the day. Someone who makes my day, everyday. Someone who thinks they love me more than I love them, even though they are wrong. Someone who lets me have the good pillow. Someone who will pick flowers with me in the spring, go swimming with me in the summer, jump in leaf piles with me in the autumn, and build snowmen with me in the winter. Someone who asks how my day was, and wants to know the answer, no matter how long my answer may be. Someone who doesn’t care how unbelievably cheesy I am. Someone who is the first person I see when I walk through the arrival gates at the airport, after a long time away. Someone who won’t care what my bra size is. Someone who will watch the clouds with me.  Someone who will make me food. Someone who won’t mind my indecisiveness about the littlest things. Someone who will always put up with my bullshit, but make me realize I need to change for the better. Someone who holds you so tight you know they’ll never let you go. Someone who reads the same blogs I do so we have things to talk about. Someone who understands that a random hug makes the whole day seem brighter. Someone who will stick around, even when it’s hard… especially when it’s hard. Someone who will watch the sunrise with me. Someone who, despite their fears, will tell me anything and everything. Someone who holds my hand in the car. Someone who will take a hundred photo booth pictures with me. Someone who knows how to laugh and take a joke, but knows when to be serious. Someone who would hold my hand when I’m getting injections because I’m afraid of needles. Someone who is in on the joke, before anything is even said. Someone who lets me steal their blankets. Someone who will hug me from behind while watching fireworks overlooking the city skyline. Someone who would be my partner in crime. Someone who actually gets me a soda when we jinx. Someone who considers my cooking Kraft Mac & Cheese a gourmet meal. Someone who already knows my order for takeout. Someone who is not afraid to go the distance, whatever the distance might be. Someone who will kill the spiders for me. Someone who will take interest in what I have to blog. Someone who will watch my childhood cartoons with me. Someone who has talks in the stairwell with me. Someone who’ll take me to the beach and build a sand castle with me. Someone who will let me choose my side of the bed. Someone who is willing enough to wait while I shop all day long. Someone to take me to an arcade and make me feel like a little kid again. Someone who understands that when i ignore them it just means i want to be by myself and it’s not because of something they did. Someone to be my personal alarm clock. Someone who realizes that the words “I miss you” mean more than the words “I love you”. Someone who will sing Christmas Carols with me, even if it’s seasons away. Someone to lay under the stars and watch fireworks with. Someone who would have an answer when I ask why they love me. Someone who fulfills every single promise. Someone who will race me to the car. Someone who will hold an umbrella for me when it’s raining. Someone who would name a star after me and we’ll look for it together. Someone who will guide me through a crowd with their hand with my pockets. Someone who will do anything to see me, even if it’s just for a minute. Someone who loves showing me off. Someone I could never hate no matter what unfolds between us. Someone who will write my name on fogged up windows. Most importantly.. Someone who is a part time lover and a full time friend.

<3

so i have sat…

and thought and thought.

This is all that I could list, I feel really lame but I have nothing better to. I have no desire right now to leave my dorm room. Tomorrow I leave and go to back to Houston for a few days and I am truly excited.

1. My full name is, Stephanie Michelle Harpool.
2. I want to be a teacher
3. I’m the oldest of five kids.
4. I draw on everything and I draw everywhere
5. I want to go to Africa
6. I’m a real big fan of writing letters.
7. My closet=epicness when being cleaned out
8. I like Alaska better Texas, but let me move to Florida:]
9. I’m not good with rules.
10. I own more legos and hot wheels then you ever will.
11. Still a virgin.
12. Sidekicks=fail
13. Myspace is an addiction.
14. I honestly and truly don’t think I’m attractive.
15. I’m not sure if i say that for attention or not.
16. My favorite band, I can’t pick a favorite band.
17. I’ve owned four pods in two years.
18. I pay for all my shit.
19. Star wars FTW!
20. I love singing.
21. I love daises:]
22. I only dated 2 guys in high school.
23. High fives are overrated, give hugs.
24. Straight edge is bullshit.
25. I love rain, hate thunder.
26. I played softball and ran track.
27. Fuck bitches, Get money$$$
28. That’s not a fact about me, but still a fact.
29. I hatehatehate chocolate ice cream.
30. The zoo is the greatest place everrrrrrrrrrrrr.
31. We drove from Alaska to Texas when I was eight.
32. I am so awkwardly shy around people.
33. My animals are my babies.
34. I’ve been playing guitar for a year and still fail at it.
35. If I sing in front you, you mean a lot to me.
36. Imma nerd, stfu.
37. There is always a song stuck in my head.
38. I attended cypress ridge high school.
39. I was in yearbook:D
40. For three years I failed math, then senior year they put in ap statistics
41. I can’t think of something to be there
42. I create art.
43. My dad was a photographer for national geographic.
44. There’s this one boy who makes me smile so much.
45. I really deserve a little less bullshit in life.
46. I sometimes use big words.
47. I’m not really that smart though.
48. I used to be in beauty pageants.
49. You’ve probably heard about me.
50. I don’t need a best friend.
51. I love to sitt on my roof.
52. I blame educational videos in school for my various interests in drugs.
53. I sleeep with a stuffed animal stillllllllll, its a pandaaa.
54. I get told my eyes are fake. Wtf?
55. I do not wear colored contact lenses.
56. I lovelovelove sushi.
57. Good spelling is a must.
58. I cant say solider or shoulder.
59. I still make wishes on 11:11.
60. I’m really clumsy
61. I had ear surgery.
62. Saturday morning cartoons.
63. My driving skills are horrible.
64. I scared the shit out of my driving instructor.
65. Beer is gross.
66. I hate pants.
67. I attended 14 schools.
68. I’ve lived in Alaska, Kansas, Texas and Nevada.
69. The number, nuff said.
70. I think Olli Sykes is ugly.
71. I own more paint markers and prismacolors than you
72. I say dude. A lot.
73. World peace doesn’t exist
74. Fuck Obama
75. I am really into politics and I actually know what I am talking about
76. The universe amazes me.
77. I wear a crown necklace. Everyday.
78. My name means crowned one. I get called the queen by close friends.
79. I sometimes get mistaken for a boy and get hit on by girls. haha
80. I don’t like being in my house by myself.
81. I hate scary movies.
82. I will not watch them.
83. Facebook is better. You should add me.
84. I have way to many friends on myspace.
85. When I’m with helen, all hell breaks lose.
86. go ask alice.
87. baths beat showers
88. supra muska skytops<3
89. My first tattoo is still being decided.
90. I play video games with my brothers.
91. I always die first.
92. I ran into a door once. Ask Stephen. Or Kelsey. Or Ali.
93. I still blame Kelsey.
94. My mom says I have a black girl booty. It makes me laugh. No offense:/
95. I really would like to cock slap some people
96. I text. A lot. It pisses my mom off.
97. I have abnormally large lips for a white girl.
98. Hello kitty isn’t cool.
99. Arizona green tea and pringles are the greatest snack ever.
100. Nothing happens when you die.

101. My mom works at the church.

102. My nails are always painted.

103. Fmylife.com and textfromlastnight.com make me laugh.

104. I have a twitter and I hate it.

105. Alex Pardee inspires some of my art.

106. I’m a libra.

107. But I think horoscopes are just bullshit.

108. My little sister gets mistaken to be my daughter.

109. I’ve set a rag on fire in the microwave. It happened today.

110. I go to a lot of shows.

111. I reallyreallyreally want to go to Disney World.

112. I cut my own hair, but then again, who doesn’t?

113. I own a 17” Dell Studio Laptop.

114. Its pretty nice.

115. Oh; I fail at math.

116. I still buy cds.

117. Just because I like looking at the album art.

118. Acoustic music sucks live.

119. This :0 ~<====8 makes me laugh.

120. My phone is almost dead. Again.

^^ I love how this is randomly double spaced.